Confessions of a Newlywed: To Champion One Another's Needs

If you haven't noticed already, Chris and I are very intentional about our marriage. What I mean by that is that we recognize that the odds are against us in this world in many ways. Marriage is not something we take lightly - it needs to be nurtured, protected, and taken care of. Quite simply put, the Beatles were lying to us all when they sang All You Need is Love. It's like a car. You can buy a brand new car and think everything is great, but if you don't wash it regularly, it may rust; and without regular oil changes, your engine (albeit, taking some time) will eventually seize.

So we read books. We attend bible studies focused on marriage. We read countless articles. We pray about it; separately and together. We talk about it often; both between just the two of us, and with others. We both believe in having mentors in our lives. Someone who has already been through your current stage of life, and for us, someone who is further on their walk with God. This too, has been instrumental in our first year together.

Confessions of a Newlywed: Looking Forward

A friend asked me the other day how our first year of marriage was. I responded "Great- best year of my life so far" He then gave me this little nugget of wisdom:

Each year will feel like the best year so far, but you'll never feel like you want to go back to it.

How great is that?

Have you ever been somewhere amazing? Mexico? Europe? Japan? Even just somewhere close like Canmore? The trip was great- the food, the scenery, the weather. Everything about it made you want to return as soon as you possibly could. I think this is pretty normal. You experienced something wonderful, and wanting to experience it again is a pretty natural response.

But what if you knew that your next trip, whether to a new destination, or to the same one was going to be better?

Happy One Year Anniversary, Husband!

Caution: If you are repelled by sickly sweet, mushy, lovey dovey couples, this post is not for you! If you read on anyways, because really, how many people would just stop reading? You cannot claim you weren't warned when you are gagging in mere moments...


Dearest Husband,

Well Babe-a-licious, we've made it a whole year.

Last year, at this very moment in time I was walking down the aisle to you. Any nervousness I had completely melted away, along with everything else in the room. I'm sure other people were present - I've seen the pictures- but in that moment I didn't notice a single person in the room other than you.

Confessions of a Newlywed: Things I Wish I'd Known Before I Got Married - Part 2

In my last post I talked about my Mom, and how she modeled the picture of a strong independent woman for me. Today myself and my husband Chris write about how my independence had the potential to confuse roles and expectations we both had going into marriage.

 In a marriage (at least in ours) both the wife and the husband have a desire to take care of the other. We do this in different ways, both big and small. For instance, this evening I baked muffins for Chris's lunch, and he mowed the lawn.... these are things that when done, bring the other person pleasure. Chris loves sweet treats, and I hate mowing the lawn, and am SO grateful to not have to do it. In a small unspoken way when we do these things what we are saying to the other is "I  want to show you I love you, and I want to take care of your needs"

Problems may arise when we come into a marriage with certain expectations of how we might take care of the other. When we are not able to fulfill the role we have set for ourselves it can leave us feeling inadequate, and even unworthy. One way I realized I was not allowing Chris to take care of me was in small ways - things that I had always done for myself that he had always perceived as the husband's role. I had never needed to ask for help, so why would I now? 

I've asked Chris to share a little on this topic....

Confessions of a Newlywed: Things I Wish I'd Known Before I Got Married - Part 1

The Title of this blog is *ahem* borrowed from a book I read by Gary Chapman before Chris and I were engaged. One of my favorite parts of the book is when the author talks about how would be naive to believe that our childhood- specifically our relationships with our parents- do not affect the way we relate to our spouse.

Oh geez. This certainly could open up a can of worms, couldn't it?

Now, if you know me then you know that I haven't always had the easiest relationship with my Dad. Surprisingly that isn't what I want to talk about today. Today I'm talking about my amazing Mommy, and how her model of a strong independent woman shaped the woman I am today.