A couple of years ago my life consisted of work and "relaxing in the evening" each night. Every single day I would get up, go to work, and then come home, eat dinner and plunk down in front of the TV and stay there for the rest of the night until I went to bed. We're talking a routine of 5-6 hours a night watching TV.
I called it being a "Homebody" although some might argue it's also referred to as "couch potato"
Po-tay-to, Po-tah-to?
I remember looking at my friend's life which seemed so busy with soccer practice and games, choir, and she also went out most weekends too. I told her she was crazy, and there was no way I could walk even a day in her shoes.If she were to call me Friday night and invite me out the answer was almost always no - I was ready for a night of relaxing. Usually I'd be in my pj pants minutes after stepping in the door. I couldn't even fathom the idea of spontaneously getting up and going out. I needed time to get ready! (Both physically and mentally!)
And then life sped up a little. I joined a church I love, and dove into every activity I could- intentionally immersing myself in a world that I knew very little about at the time. I wanted to learn more- about Jesus and about how I could live my life in a way that serves Him. I joined a small group (bible study), became a youth leader, and later on started meeting with a prayer partner once a week.
You would think that I would then covet my couple of days a week I had left to myself, right? Well that's the funny thing. It seems like the principle of Inertia applies. Newton's first law of motion states: "An object at rest stays at rest and an object in motion stays in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force."
So when I was constantly "at rest" I wanted nothing more than to stay at rest, however, once I was given a little push and was in motion, I naturally wanted to continue the same pace. These days I couldn't imagine more than three nights in a row at home with no where to be. Chris and I both get bored if it happens, and heaven forbid we have nothing to do on both Friday and Saturday! Of course there are exceptions. If we have been incredibly busy for a few weeks in a row we will intentionally set aside time to rest, and we certainly enjoy it in these cases.
Now that I am on the other side, I understand how others look at our life and see it as way too busy, but the truth is that it isn't. I don't feel busy. Actually, I kind of hate the word busy. People rarely talk about it in a positive way, but instead in a hurried, frantic "I have no time for anything" kind of way. That just isn't how I feel at all!
One thing that is like nails on a chalkboard for me is when a close friend or family member says "I know you two are busy, but...." when trying to plan something with us. It's true that when I plan a coffee or dinner date with a friend it often gets scheduled for 2-3 weeks later because my immediate time is already taken, but please don't mistake that for me being "too busy for you" That has implications about our priorities, and I think that is what rubs me the wrong way.
My life is full. Full of friends, family, ministry, leisure, laughter and fun. It's full of so many great things that sometimes I can't believe how blessed I am to live the life I do. Now I'll be honest and say there have been times when I feel as though I have too much on my plate- I have a tendency to want to "do it all" because I hate disappointing people. (aka- I don't like disappointing myself and what I think I should be capable of) There have been things I've given up or adjusted to suite my needs in that season. Chris is very good at helping me figure out that balance-he can usually forsee me feeling overwhelmed WAY better than I can. It's a learning process, but I think overall I've adjusted to this new speed pretty well.
One thing is for sure though- I wouldn't trade what I have now for all that "relaxing" I used to do even if you paid me.
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~M
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