Wednesday, 22 May 2013

A Post About The Post I'm Not Posting

I wrote a post a week or two ago that I have been waiting to post until Chris read it first. I don't always have him read my posts, but if they are about him (which this one was) then I like to run them by him before I throw it up here for the world to see. Just because I have decided to live a transparent life doesn't mean he should have to as well, right?

So, just in case you were wondering about any of my last posts- Chris has given me the green light on all of them. Actually, to go a step further, he has encouraged me to post each and every one of them. He often tells me I don't need to check with him first, and there have been times that I have felt confident that he will feel honored in my writing, and have posted first, and got then him to read it afterwards.

After I wrote this last one though, I instantly felt a check in my spirit- something that made me physically stop before I hit the PUBLISH button in the top right hand corner. I just had this feeling that Chris definitely needed to read this one before it went public. It was nothing too major - just a little fight we had where I felt like I had learned a lesson. It went almost two weeks before I remembered to have him read it, and I had been feeling quite impatient. Part of me wanted to post it for lack of creativity to write anything new... yet I waited. I waited out of obedience to the Lord, and respect for my husband.

And good thing I did, because he didn't like it.

I wasn't surprised. The Holy Spirit isn't often wrong about these things. However, part of me had been hoping that there was just one portion that he didn't like and we could work together to change it, but alas, it was the entire post. 

I felt discouraged. Not because I was upset that Chris put the kibosh on my post- no, that part was easy. I always want him to feel respected and honored, and if there is any question of that in my writing, I will happily scrap it. Heck, I'd give up this entire blog if it made Chris feel uncomfortable. No, my discouragement was about something else. It was obvious to me that I had written that particular post with my own agenda, and not in and through the work of the Holy Spirit.

And that, friends, is a place I do not want to be. While it is my prayer that each of my decisions would be made with the counsel of the Holy Spirit, it is especially important to me that this blog reflects that more than anything. I do not wish to push my own thoughts and opinions on you, but instead it is my hope that my words would be inspired by the One who gave me the gift of creativity and writing in the first place.

And so here I sit and wait on the Lord to inspire me with something new to write about, and I pray that I won't write until I undoubtedly hear from Him.

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