Friday, 6 November 2015

I Bit My Kid Today

I don't think anyone expects to one day bite their own child. I certainly didn't. There are some strong opinions when it comes to dealing with a toddler who bites in this way and I'll just start by thanking you for keeping them to yourself.

Elliott is a handful and a half. I spend approximately 98% of my day pulling him off the Dayhome kids. You might think I am exaggerating, but I assure you I am not. The pushing, tackling and hitting is enough to deal with, so when it looked like the new game was biting all I could think was NUH UH. 

The kid is just so full of love, I swear. Rarely are any of his antics out of anger, but instead out of playfulness. He just happens to love to play very very rough. His hugs are robust and his kisses usually include face pinches. He just loves so much!! Obviously, a child his size (or even a little bigger) can't quite handle the love. Or appreciate it. Like, at all. 

He had bit me while in full tackle mode a handful of times, but seemed to understand my firm "no biting!" Well, when he bit one of the kids last week  (after a loooong week of me playing referee to him all day long) I had pretty much had it. I was done. 

Why on earth would we bite our child to show them they can't bite? How on earth could it be effective to show them that it isn't an acceptable way to show your frustration when that is exactly what we are modeling? How confusing is it to hurt your child and them to understand that we love them and they are safe with us?

I've had all those thoughts and continue to, but still, when he bit me today, I bit him back. I would much rather it be me, someone who can control how hard I bite, then it be retaliation from another child that would hurt way more and possibly draw blood.

I'm still not sure it was right. Parenting is dang hard. You can have all the ideas of what is right and wrong in your head, and then you go and bite your own kid.

TGIF guys, TGIF.

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1 comment:

  1. Oh my friend. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. Even though Liam was never a biter he is now going through this stage, where like your little guy, he just loves so much. His direction of his affection is at his sister. And I have had to literally show him how it feels to have someone bigger pile pillows on top of him and put mild pressure on him to show him how it feels when he does that to his baby sister and lays on top of her, I have also had to give him a stronger hug to show him how it feels when he squeezes his sister so tight she is screaming,and the list goes on. For some kids they need to actually see/feel things, for some words work, and for other kids some other techniques work. Like adults we all learn differently and I think our kiddos are no different. We as mommies have the hard job to decipher which method will work in the midst of the chaos of children flying off couches, poo smears across walls, and toys trains whizzing past our heads (and this is all before 9am and we haven't even had our coffee yet!!). You are doing a fantastic job mama!!