Be The Help He Needs

Chris and I wake up in very different ways. Once I am out of bed, I'm up. I'm ready for the day. Before Elliott arrived, half the time I would make the bed before I even went to the washroom. (These days, for obvious reasons, the bed gets made a little bit later) Chris always comments on how quickly I move in the mornings - I can make coffee and breakfast, all while tidying the living room and kitchen from the night before.

Chris on the other hand, needs a little more time to fully wake up. If I'm still in bed when his alarm goes off he'll press snooze and move to the couch so the next alarm (or two or three!) don't wake me up. Then at the very last moment possible he'll slowly drag himself to the washroom, get dressed and hurry out the door. Often sleep takes precedence over breakfast, and sometimes over making lunch as well.

I have to be honest... it drives me nuts when he walks out the door without a lunch. Especially when I know he's likely run out of "fun money" for the week (We each have a weekly amount of money that we get in cash- we don't need to explain or apologize to each other for how it is spent. Works great for us!) and so his options are to either not eat lunch or to use the debit card to buy lunch - something that drives me even more nuts! I'm somewhat of a budget warden...


Anyways, this morning was no different, and even more rushed because he was waiting on instruction of where to meet his work partner, which was texted to him a little later than usual. Once he got the text he sprung into action, getting ready at lighting speed, but I knew he wouldn't have time for either breakfast or lunch. Elliott was happy hanging out on his own for a bit so I popped a bagel in the toaster for Chris' breakfast and started making his lunch.

When Chris saw what I was doing, he was so appreciative. What he said has stuck with me all day.


"Thank you for being the help that I needed, and not the help I deserved."


Well now that got me thinking about being a helper to my husband - something that is mentioned multiple times in the Bible. Chris and I in fact modelled our wedding vows off of Ephesians 5:22-23. (Check out this post to read more about our vows!) It is first mentioned in Genesis when God creates Eve. He says "It is not good for the man to be alone, I will make a helper suitable for him" (NIV)

There are many translations of the Bible and sometimes words get changed from the original wording, in which case the meaning can be lost. The word "helper" is actually shortened from the original translations of the Bible where it was called a "helpmeet." (all one word) In Hebrew, helpmeet is translated as Ezer k'gnedo which means "the help that opposes." In Jewish culture it is described as two posts of equal weight leaned against one another. They stand because of equal force. 

So, to be a helper (or a helpmeet) to my husband does not mean that I simply do things for him because that is what the Bible says. I want to help my husband because we hold each other up. We are of equal weight, leaning against one another.

Chris felt as though he didn't deserve help this morning because he woke up late and he knew he should have had time to make his own lunch. The truth is though, that he deserves to have me love him well because that is what we promised one another... and sometimes that looks like a toasted bagel and a sandwich.



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Thanks for stopping by :)

~M