(Lack of) Infant Sleep & Chronos vs. Kairos

Two nights ago I had a glorious sleep. Elliott went down at 9:30 after a long day of teething, crankiness and very little napping. Usually this means I'm in for a long night as well, but instead he only woke to nurse ONCE. He woke up a couple of other times but soothed himself back to sleep (aka: I didn't even get out of bed) So yesterday, I basically felt like Superwoman. He was in a great mood all day, had great naps and went to bed on time and easily.

Aaaahhh... sittin pretty.

He went down really easily at 9, and seemed to be completely passed out. I was fully prepared to have a night just as wonderful as the night before. We've really turned a real corner! I thought. Finally his sleep is getting better, and my nights can get back to normal. (Well, as normal as it's been since he was born)

Wrong. He started fussing at 11 just as I was going to bed. I left him to soothe himself, which he did. Odd though, I thought. Only two hours later? 10 minutes later he fussed again. Again I left him. Then a third time. Finally just before midnight he woke up completely, crying. Wha...? I nursed him back to sleep and headed back to bed. 20 minutes later he woke again, pulling at his ear. (His "tell" that his teeth hurt) I decided to give him some Advil for his teeth even though I knew it would wake him up completely to do so. By this point he's now been unsettled since 11, and I figure it's either wake him now or wake him at 2 am when I've completely lost my wits.

Chris was still up so he gave him the Advil (He's so much better at it than I am!) and sure enough Elliott was now completely awake. So we all snuggled in on the couch and watched some late night show that I barely paid attention to. Instead I was completely enthralled with the moment. I'll admit that there have been many a night where this scenario plays itself out and I feel nothing but frustration. I'm not sure if it was the good night's sleep the night before (so I wasn't too tired) or what else, but something was different about last night.

The ancient Greek actually had two words for time. Chronos refers to chronological or sequential time. Essentially, the minutes ticking by are in Chronos time. Kairos is described as a time lapse - a moment of indeterminate time when everything happens. It is believed that Chronos is the time we experience here on earth while Kairos is a glimpse of God's timing, if just for a moment.

It was now well past 12:30 as I sat there and looked at my husband holding on to our boy. I saw him close his eyes, smell his head and kiss him, and time slowed down. How blessed am I? These are the moments I will remember forever. These are the moments that go by too quickly, and it was nothing short of a gift to be able to slow down and realize it. To soak it in.

Chris turned to me and said "You know, as sucky as it is that he won't go to sleep right now, this is kind of fun."

Gosh, I love this man.


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~M