Marriage: In The Trenches

I will tell anyone who asks that I have a passion for marriages. I believe it is a God placed desire in me to see successful marriages. Not just successful, but exceptional. It is nothing short of a blessing in my life when a friend or acquaintance wants to meet up for coffee or lunch and talk about marriage - each conversation and each shared prayer is like a training ground for the ministry I believe God has called me to.

I have had more than one friend tell me that they see my marriage as something to strive for or something that is intimidating. I think I need to be very clear here:

I come not from a place of expertise, but I am right down in the trenches with everyone else. Marriage is hard. Last night Chris and I had a fight over who was going to make dinner, and then after that was resolved we fought again at 1 am when I was woken to find him playing his (not so quiet) video games.

Side note: I am, without question, my absolute grumpiest when I am woken from a good sleep. This has always been so, but now even more true when I have to wake up 2-3 times a night for the perfectly acceptable reason of feeding and comforting our son. So to be woken at 1, when I know Elliott will be waking within the next hour to eat? Not. A. Fan.

After waking up from a night like that it is easy to feel completely inadequate. Fraudulent, even.

I am reminded that God does not call the qualified but instead qualifies the called. This might just be the partial episode of Biggest Loser I watched last night, but I can't help but think that no one wants to take weight loss advice from someone who has never struggled with eating. Just don't eat the chocolate cake, they say... Excuse me, have you ever even tried chocolate cake before??

Anyways, just wanted to be real with y'all today. Marriage is hard, but it's all in how we respond to the hard parts. This morning we are celebrating the triumph over conflict and claiming it as a victory for the glory of God, because if there is one thing we are sure of in this roller coaster of marriage and new parenthood, it is that we need Jesus to be at the centre.

And sometimes... chocolate cake.



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~M