It's been a really long time since I sat down with my laptop. A really long time since I decided to type out some of my thoughts. So much has changed, I considered starting a brand new blog. Looking back on some of my old posts feels like reading through an old diary. There are moments I feel embarrassed for what I've written. For what I've thought.
Four and a half years ago we started our life in pastoral ministry. We moved to a small town not far from where we both grew up, and where we started our family, and we started a new chapter. Six months ago we closed that chapter. There were highs and lows. A lot of lows. One of the things I hated most though, was feeling like my voice had been silenced. Being a pastor's family brings along a microscope into your life, and for fear that my thoughts would be perceived as Chris' thoughts, and therefor THE PASTOR'S thoughts, I found myself biting my tongue until it bled.
It wasn't just that though. It's been a few years of a lot of growth and learning, and I just didn't feel like sharing a lot of it. It's been messy, and there have been lessons I've had to learn a number of times. I think I had a fairly narcissistic approach to blogging, and felt like I needed to have something to tell, to teach even.
I have nothing to teach. Very little to offer anyone that reads this actually. It's laughable to think that I would write anything with the intention of it being for others. Instead I'm writing for the joy of writing, and the comfort that it's always brought.
I'm keeping my blog name the same, because if there is anything that is true, it's that I'm just stumbling through life, and the only thing graceful about it, is the grace that Jesus shows me everyday.
No comments:
Post a Comment