Monday, 6 October 2014

Shifting Focus Early In The Morning.

It wasn't even 8:30 am, but my chest was already tight and my shoulders tense. Elliott had woken up well before 7 (not my favourite thing) and as soon as I opened my computer I was met with the words s-t-r-e-s-s spelled out by half a dozen different family members and friends as they unravelled their stories upon me. Next, I spent half an hour on the phone with a family member who took those letters, italicized them and then retyped them in bold.

My sweet husband got out of bed halfway through that conversation, took our happy, chatty son from me, (who was probably wondering why Mommy's voice sounded so strained) made me a latte, and brought it to me as I cleaned up our room as I talked on the phone (I'm a hardcore stress cleaner. It's a bit of a problem) This man knows my heart oh so well.

So now there I sat, not even 8:30 and Elliott has just gone down for his first nap (consequently from his oh-so-early rising!) After I unload the weight of my morning on my sympathetic husband, I sat back down on the couch to finish my latte and go to open up Facebook on my phone. Then I stop.

Wait. This is not how I want to go forward.

This is how I start most of my days. Coffee. Breakfast and Facebook while I try to shake the cobwebs from my head, then on with the day of vacuuming, playing with Elliott, laundry, emails and such. This day though, I feel like I can't possibly go forward without inviting Jesus into my day. I need him desperately, and as I turn off the tv that Chris had turned on to catch the morning news, I feel almost jealous for His time. I don't want anything to happen until I can spend some time with Him. I miss Him. I need Him.

I pull out my Bible and start reading the gospels. I haven't read the gospels for way too long because somewhere along the way I started thinking that because we always recommend a new believer to start there, it is somehow "Bible for Beginners" Ha! Oh how silly and wrong I can be. I read a couple parables that are downright offensive to read and hard to swallow, and as I am hashing it out with Chris, it happens.

My focus shifted.

No more family problems. No more strained voices.

Jesus. Kingdom now.

This is how I want to go forward.

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