10 Years Of Being Loved By Him

It was in March of ‘09 that we went on our first date. Or “non-date” as we called it because neither of us really knew if it was a date or not, and when we ran into a mutual friend that point blank asked us if we were on a date, we both kind of choked. . We went to our first show together - Christian Hansen at the ARTery. It was a high intensity, crazy, jump up and down and dance kind of show, but we stood awkwardly together at the back. Then finally we just sat down near the door and talked and talked for hours. I told one of my best friends the next day that I had just been on the best date of my life... even though I wasn’t sure if it was a date or not.

If you would have asked me that day what I hoped for 10 years down the road, I could have never imagined this life. I probably could have pictured the marriage, house and kids. I was in my early 20’s and knew I wanted all that in my future. What I couldn’t foresee what just how madly in love I would be. Anything I had felt before Chris was a spark in comparison to a bonfire, but the real surprise is how our years together have turned into embers that burn hotter and brighter than I ever imagined. 


I can’t believe how amazing our marriage is. I almost feel like I shouldn’t talk about it, because “this stage of life is hard on marriage” is completely true, and “marriage isn't easy” is very real. However, sometimes I wonder if by agreeing with these narratives over and over in attempt of solidarity with our fellow wives and mamas of littles, maybe we just accept the narrative because we don't expect any better. So we fumble through the years waiting for the better; It will be better when we’re out of the baby stage, when the kids are all sleeping through the night, when they’re in school.

Better how?

If we don't make our marriage a priority now, why would we expect it to become one 10 years down the road? I can't even count the amount of marriages I know of that didn't make it to 10 years. It's no wonder that the most common Facebook comment for someone celebrating an anniversary is "Congratulations!" 

This blog post is not meant to come across as prideful or boastful, but I think it's important for people to hear that normal people, in normal stages of life are experiencing awesome marriages. Yes, of course our marriage isn't perfect. Of course we fight, and sometimes we hurt each others feelings by something said or done. Sometimes we take out a bad day on each other. Our marriage is normal, but it. is. AWESOME. 

I'm not sure that 23 year old Melissa even had a scope for love like this. I understood marriage logistically, but truthfully never had a model of a healthy, flourishing marriage, so it appeared more like a partnership than anything else. I could have never pictured the man that sends me out for the night because he notices my patience has grown thin with the kids. Or the surprise tea brought in the middle of the day because he thought I could use the pick me up. Or the "You sit down, I'll clean the kitchen." The no reason flowers. The love note left on the counter in the morning. This man knows my heart and pursues it endlessly. He loves me so well.

Ten years of knowing him and being loved by him. It has been such a gift.


Thanks for reading!
~M